Returning to the Mat
A few weeks ago I shared on Instagram that I’ve picked up my yoga practice, after a several year hiatus. I’ve done yoga off and on for nearly a decade, but it’s been four years or so since I really practiced regularly. So for the past two weeks I’ve committed to doing a Yoga With Adrienne video after work.
The first practice back on the mat was hard. I wanted to cry because I felt so weak and heavy at the same time. But by the end of the practice my mind felt clearer, like someone came in and cleaned out the cobwebs. All the problems I had brought with me to the mat felt lighter and more manageable.
Yoga is magical like that.
As I like to keep things real around here, I feel compelled to share that I am not a yogi. I have never enjoyed exercise, formal or otherwise. As a kid, I would be the first one to tap out during a game of tag at recess. I only started exercising as an adult because I wanted to lose weight (thank you diet culture). Physical activity was just another chore on my to-do list. Something to be checked off and never truly enjoyed.
Even though regular exercise had a profound effect on my mental health, I would get frustrated when the scale didn’t budge. That frustration would turn to anger and then sadness and any exercise routine would fade away. Until l I started another diet / lifestyle change / wellness journey. And the cycle would start all over again. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
I walked away from diet culture in 2020, with the help of this book on Intuitive Eating. Anyone who has actively rejected western diet culture knows that changing the way you view your body, food and your overall place in society takes time. And so I am still very much in the process of untangling the benefits of exercise for my well being from the need to look a certain way in order to be more acceptable.
In short, for the past couple of years whenever I’d start trying exercise regularly, my lizard brain would be like “She’s Going on A Diet! Cue the binge eating/ self loathing cycle!”
After some big ups and downs, I have finally (I think) landed in a place of peace with exercise and physical activity. I do yoga, talk walks, and occasionally go hiking, because it makes me feel good. After being mostly sedentary during the pandemic, I realized how much better I feel when I get a daily dose of exercise, even if it is just a quick lunch time walk around my office parking lot.
My decision to pick up my yoga practice more formally now was driven 100% by a desire to improve my mental and physical health. I think this is just yet another benefit of moving from Maiden to Mother to Crone. I recognize the beauty and strength of who I am right now, rather than pining for some future version of myself. And for me, returning to the mat is one way I can honor my body and my spirit.
How do you like to take care of yourself?
Hey friends - just a reminder, I am not a licensed clinical anything and I’m just an awesome middle aged mom sharing my own personal story. None of this should be taken as medical advice or suggestions. If you struggle with health issues or are seeking medical advice, please talk with your licensed medical provider.
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Beltane & The Season of Creativity
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Soon it will be the season of Beltane, which marks the mid-point of spring. Celebrated on May 1st, Beltane is when the Wheel of the Year turns fully from winter towards summer. I love this time of year because of the natural energy that abounds. While Beltane is often associated with fertility, it’s also a time to focus on abundance and creativity. Beltane fires are the first harkening of the summer season to come. Why not use this time to reconnect with your own fire? What lights you up? What excites you? What do you want more of in the season to come?
This year, I want to embrace the energy of Beltane and springtime and delve into my creativity more fully. Specifically I want to explore: What does creativity look like in my life? What can I learn about myself through creativity? How can I harness my creativity to find more joy and purpose in the everyday?
I had thought about doing some kind of writing challenge with myself for the month of May, but I don’t really like the term challenge. I feel like it sets you up to fail if you don’t do the thing every single day.
Instead, I’m thinking I’d like to go on a creative adventure to celebrate Beltane. There is no winning or losing; there is only exploring.
Finding Your Creative Flow
I think creativity should give you a sense of accomplishment and bring you joy and, at times, put you in a state of flow - where time stops and you are just IN the moment. For me, writing does that. Not all the time, mind you. There are days when I have to force myself to put something on the page.
But when I stumble upon something that sparks a light inside my soul - I am able to go all in for a period of time - usually no more than a couple of hours at a time. And when I am finished I feel the greatest sense of accomplishment - even if the end result is just a rough draft of gobbly-gook. I know there is something there. That’s how Mabon House started. I had a kernel of an idea that I just let it lead me to where it wanted to go. I followed and here we are. All because of creativity.
Everyone is Creative
I am a firm believer that everybody is creative in their own way. And everyone can benefit from stretching their creative muscles. We do not need to be the best painter, writer, fill-in-the-blank whatever to be creative. Elizabeth Gilbert captures this idea beautifully in her book Big Magic:
“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner—continually and stubbornly bringing forth the jewels that are hidden within you—is a fine art, in and of itself.”
Choose Your Own Creative Adventure
So in the spirit of Beltane and Springtime, this week’s free printable is a choose-you-own-creative-adventure worksheet, plus a list of ideas to help you get started. I hope you like it!
I’ll be sharing some other creative resources, including more about Beltane and Creativity in the coming weeks. If you are interested in participation in some sort of community adventure around creativity, let me know in the comments section below.
Take care and I’ll see you next week!
Recommended Reading
Ostara for Self Care and Intentional Living
It’s hard to believe that Ostara and the spring equinox are just a few days away. I’m taking some advice from myself (or rather from the Ostara Self Care Course I wrote up last year) to spend some time planning for future goals. I’ve been thinking a lot about creative projects. I have many printables in the works, as well as a lot of notes and research on the Wheel of the Year and how to live more intentionally within the seasons. And I feel like there is something bigger here than just blog posts and stand alone printables. So, I’ve started sketching out a very rough outline of a book. Which feels scary and super exciting at the same time.
My imposter syndrome reared up slightly when I began thinking about this BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). I mean, many of you have been around long enough to see the number of typos that I make on a regular basis. I am not the world's best editor. But the thing is…what is life worth if you don’t try scary and exciting things? Yes, you might fail, but you might also fly.
With this book idea, I’m planting seeds of joy, anticipation and excitement for Ostara. And even if it takes a couple Wheel of the Years to see the final results, that’s okay with me. What about you? What seeds are you planting this spring? What joy are you cultivating? Do you have any BHAGS you’re ready to start on?
This week’s printable is also from the free Ostara Course and is one of my personal favorites. You can use it to set intentions, take inspired action and cultivate a life that you love.
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