How I Follow the Wheel of the Year for a Peaceful (ish) Life
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I recently started listening to Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May. It got me thinking about the role that seasons and the Wheel of the Year are play in my own life. Like many of you, I don’t identify with any particular spiritual or religious group, nature-based or otherwise. But I take great comfort in following the seasons. It’s almost as if the seasons give me permission to slow down (winter); to be busy (spring); to spend extra time with friends and family (summer); and to spend time working on goals for the future (autumn). Every year I follow some iteration of this pattern.
As I think about the Wheel of the Year, I’ve been thinking about the contrast between following nature’s lead and my own reality. In our capitalist culture, there is no slowing down. Too often efficiency and production are the markers of a job well done. There is no time to slow down, no time to rest. We have to keep moving, moving, moving no matter the season. I struggle to reconcile the fast pace of everyday life with the my desire to follow nature’s rhythm.
I used to think I must be lazy because I didn’t eat, sleep, breath my job, like some people do. But as I’ve grown in my career, I’ve come to realize that my work-style and leadership style are just… different.
My strengths come from the fact that I do try to follow the seasons as much as possible, even in the office. I take more time off in the winter and summer. I capitalize on the energy of spring to start projects. I use the back-to-school energy of fall to get organized and start planning out new initiatives. And I encourage my staff to do the same. Of course, this doesn’t always go as planned, but following nature’s lead helps keep me from being swallowed whole by my job, running from fire to fire, with no end in sight.
Along with following the seasons, I use each of the Wheel of the Year holidays to pause, reflect and align/realign with my core values and intentions. If I am feeling off kilter, checking in with myself, even just briefly, during a WOTY sabbat helps to move me off autopilot and be more intentional with my time and energy.
Basically, my personal philosophy is kind of like the popular quote:
“Nature doesn’t hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” - Lao Tzu
Nature keeps me grounded, while the Wheel of the Year offers a path forward.
How do the seasons and the Wheel of the Year show up in your life?
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Core Values: Creating a Life of Authenticity
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Our values serve as the guiding principles that shape your beliefs, behaviors, and decisions. To live with intention and build a life that feels purposeful, it’s important that you understand what your values are. Figuring out what you value in life will help you to discern the kind of life you want to cultivate, while also being realistic about your actions. It's easy to set goals or desire things that align with societal values but may not necessarily support the life you truly want to have. Following societal values can inadvertently steer individuals towards the wrong career or the wrong partner, making life more challenging than necessary. By acknowledging personal values, you can make choices that will help you build a life of purpose and joy, as well as make you more resilient in the face of challenges.
What Are Values, Exactly?
Values, in essence, are your fundamental beliefs and principles that serve as a guiding force for your attitudes, behaviors, and decisions. They act as a compass, helping you navigate through life and make choices aligned with what you deem important. Your values encompass a broad spectrum, ranging from moral and ethical beliefs to personal and social principles.
These core values play a pivotal role in shaping your perception of right and wrong, influencing your priorities, and contributing to the formation of your identity. Deeply rooted and influenced by factors like culture, family upbringing, personal experiences, and societal norms, your values act as a foundation upon which you build the life you want to lead.
Understanding your values is crucial for living authentically and intentionally, allowing you to make decisions that resonate with your beliefs and contribute to a purposeful life. They are an integral part of who you are and guide you in navigating the complexities of the world around you.
Raising children helped me to identify many of my core values. As a single mom working full time, it was important for me to have quality time with my kids. This meant prioritizing a career that kept me close to home, over more lucrative corporate options that would have required a two hour daily commute. For me, the 10 hours saved a week from not having to commute was more important than earning a higher salary.
Values Can Change Over Time
As you move through the various phases of life, your values naturally undergo shifts and transformations. In your youth, priorities may center around exploration, independence, and personal freedom. Transitioning to adulthood, responsibilities, relationships, and career aspirations can reshape the importance you place on different values. Parenthood might introduce a heightened emphasis on family, security, and stability. Experiences, cultural exposure, and evolving perspectives may lead to a reevaluation and adjustment of your values. Life's challenges and successes also play a crucial role in shaping the principles that guide your decision-making. Recognizing and embracing these shifts contribute to a more nuanced understanding of yourself and can improve your adaptability as you navigate changes in your life.
Sometimes negative experiences help shape our values
Growing up in a chaotic home where we sometimes had money and sometimes did not, I’ve learned the value of financial stability. Even though I didn’t make a ton of money when my kids were younger, I was (and am) very good with my finances. I prioritize savings first, and can always stretch what’s left in my checking account til the end of the month. That’s not to say it was always easy. I definitely had a good amount of mom guilt that I wasn’t taking my kids on vacation to Disney or buying them all the newest electronics. But there was no way I could do those things without going into debt or being late on my bills. Because I was clear about my financial goals and the value of stability associated with them, it was easier to make hard decisions. I was never really tempted to overspend and this allowed me to build meaningful memories without compromising my financial stability.
Rejecting Society's Values
Society and culture play an important part in shaping our values. Traditional Western values like marriage, higher education, and earning a lot of money are what often drive our decision making. But when you take time to think about what kind of life you really want, you may find that your values don’t always align with the majority.
I found that the pressure to get married again after divorce was Intense. I don’t know why. I obviously wasn’t very good at being married the first time. But my friends and family thought I should get married again ASAP. For a while, this emphasis on being married in order to be whole left me feeling confused and a little depressed. I have a wonderful partner whom I’ve never lived with, never co-parented with, and never mingled finances with. We keep completely separate lives and are only together because we want to be together. We take turns staying at each other's houses and spend holidays together. But during the normal 9 - 5 week, we don’t see each other much. We both value our independence and our alone time. When I finally accepted the fact that I really didn’t want to get married again - at least not while my kids were still at home, I felt much lighter. I value the love and connection I have with my partner, regardless if we check society’s box of acceptable relationships.
Choose Values for Growth, Not Validation
Pursuing education or career paths for personal growth, not external validation, is an example of understanding that personal fulfillment comes from within. This involves aligning life choices with intrinsic values and avoiding the pitfalls of seeking validation solely from external sources. I call this the “It Looks Good On Paper” trap. Have you ever met someone who chose a career because it paid it a lot and/or is considered prestigious? And they hate their job? Perhaps it’s a misalignment in their values, or they truly do value money and titles over general happiness. For me, I value building community through my work. I would never feel truly fulfilled in a business - corporate setting that was focused on profits over people, no matter how much it paid.
Prioritizing Mental Health and Work-Life Balance
Another important value for me is taking care of myself. It is so easy to push our health to the back burner, because our day jobs become all consuming. Avoiding excessive dedication to work at the expense of my mental and physical health reflects my recognition of the importance of work-life balance.
Balancing Your Values with Reality
As you examine your personal values, resist the urge to create an idealized version of your life — a "Perfect You." Idealization may lead to an exhaustive list of improvements and experiences that may not be realistically achievable. In the age of information overload, focus on what truly matters and identify realistic actions for your day-to-day life.
Finding Authenticity in Decisions
Understanding and living by your values is not about creating an unattainable ideal. It's about embracing the authenticity of your decisions, making choices aligned with your beliefs, and finding fulfillment in the midst of life's complexities. Reflect on the real-life examples shared, and consider how your values shape your decisions, relationships, and overall sense of purpose. By staying true to yourself, you pave the way for a life that authentically reflects your values and brings lasting satisfaction.
Do you have a set of core values that help guide your life?
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What is a Hedge Witch?
One of the most enduring archetypes of a witch is the Hedge Witch. Usually seen as a solo practitioner living at the edge of a community, a hedge witch was both feared and revered for her knowledge of nature and the spiritual world.
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One of the most enduring archetypes of a witch is the Hedge Witch. Usually seen as a solo practitioner living at the edge of a community, a hedge witch was both feared and revered for her knowledge of nature and the spiritual world. Sometimes called a wise woman (or a cunning man) a hedge witch is closely associated with home and hearth and protecting her family. Whether you identify as a witch or just want to slow down and add more intention into your life, the path of the hedge witch offers insight and guidance.
Hedge-Rider, Hex and Hag
The term hedge is used to describe a border between civilization and the wilderness. In spiritual terms, it is used to describe the threshold between this world and the other world. In early medieval Europe a hedge was a physical boundary between a village and a forest. A hedge in those times wasn’t what we think of today - a nicely manicured green shrub. It was a wild tangle of growth between the forest and the village. Those that lived along the hedge, closer to the wild than to the community, were often thought to possess magical powers and wisdom. They would be called upon for help by locals, but otherwise largely left alone. As Christianity gained power through the early and middle ages in Europe, traditional nature based beliefs and healing were deemed evil and those that lived along the hedge were particularly vulnerable to accusations of witchcraft and persecution.
According to Judika Illes in her book Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, the term Hedge-Rider was a northern European synonym for witch. In Old English it was called Haegtessa, while in Old High German hedge-rider was pronounced hagezusse. These were later shortened to Hag and Hexe respectively and were associated with old women who lived near the hedge. Over time, again with the rise of Christianity, both these terms took on a negative connotation - the Lady of the Hedge was turned into an evil old hag who was a threat, especially to children (think of the witch in Hansel and Gretel).
In English speaking countries the term Hag is synonymous with a cantankerous woman, someone who does confirm to the patriarchy’s view of womanhood. A hag does not mean a woman is necessarily old in age, but rather she is outspoken and unapologetic. This makes me think of the character Ouiser (played by Shirley MacLaine) in the movie Steel Magnolias. She was rough around the edges, but with a big heart.
A Modern Hedge Witch
Within the rise of the modern neo-pagan movement, the term hedge witch has been reclaimed by those seeking wisdom and a deeper understanding of the natural world. There are a couple of (very general) distinctions when it comes to the term hedge witch. The first refers to someone who practices rituals like tarot, divination, or has some psychic ability. This would be the more classical version of a wise woman living alone, whom people seek out for help through a reading, herbal remedies or spell work.
The second popular image of hedge witch aligns more with the modern concept of a cottage witch or house witch. Arin Murphy-Hiscock describes this type of practice in her book The Way of the Hedge Witch, as someone who practices magic in the home as a way to ensure the spiritual well-being of herself and her family. This could include imbuing some magical thoughts into everyday life through cooking, cleaning or gardening.
Following Hedge Witch Path
Even if you don’t identify as a witch, the elements of a hedge witch offer simple and easy ways to connect with nature and cultivate a peaceful home. Common ways a hedge witch cares for her home and family include cleaning not just her physical space, but also the energy that fills it. She may sprinkle salt along doorways, to keep evil spirits away or hang a glass witch’s ball* to absorb light and deflect negative energy. She may say little prayer/spell/intention while stirring a pot of soup for dinner. Her magic is in the small moments that make up each day.
Home & Hearth
No matter what interpretation you use for a hedge witch, the home is an integral part of her practice. An important element in the concept of home is the hearth. A hearth is traditionally at the center of home life. It provides warmth and light in the dark months, and is where meals are prepared. Until the late 19th century tending the hearth was an all day job for women who kept their own homes. The hearth as a focal point of life has long been revered in many cultures.
Today’s hedge witch may call upon Hestia, the Greek goddess of the hearth for safety and peace within her home. A traditional fireplace hearth may be replaced by the modern day kitchen or other area that serves as a focal point for yourself and your family. The essence of the hearth, whether invoking ancient deities or tending to the heart of the home, endures as a source of comfort and connection in the modern world.
Some might argue a hedge witch is the original witch - from where our modern associations of witchcraft and the occult stem. Today a Hedge Witch can be a solo practitioner that folks call upon for help. Or she may focus her energies on tending her home, as an extension of her own spiritual practice. Either way, the path of hedge witch offers simple ways to connect to nature, connect with others and connect to one’s self.
References and Recommended Readings*
The Way of the Hedge Witch by Arin Murphy-Hiscock