Permission to Slow Down
After one of the mildest October’s in recent memory, I woke up this morning to the first snowfall of the year. My favorite part of a snowy day is how quiet the outside world becomes. It’s as if the world is resting and all I hear is the soft pitter pat of falling snow. After the hectic happenings of October and early November, some quiet is a welcome change. Has it snowed in your corner of the world yet?
I started a new job a few months ago, moving from a completely remote position back to an office full of people. It was a good move and I’m happy to be working with folks in-person once more. However, as I’ve settled into this new cadence of work life, I’ve started to notice some smaller issues that, if left unchecked, could lead to burnout and exhaustion.
After many years of trial and error, I understand exactly what my limits are when it comes to my work. I know exactly how much energy I can devote to my job before burnout ensues. I also know how to maximize my time. I don’t believe in filling up 40 hours a week with busy work. I don’t volunteer for committees or work groups or anything else, unless I know it somehow make my team’s job easier. I consistently focus on the most important parts of my job and largely let the rest go. I think I may be considered a “Quiet Quitter” but really, I’m just good at putting boundaries in place. It’s my career superpower.
But even with all my experience, it’s still exhausting to stand up to the toxic work culture that permeates so much of the American psyche. If we are idle, we are bad. If we aren’t putting in 110% are we even working? Checking emails after hours and weekends is just part of the job. Right? And so on and so on….
And lately I have felt like I am being swept up in a tide of office chaos, running from one fire to another, always busy but not accomplishing much. It is incredibly frustrating, not to mention emotionally draining. And so I’ve been making a concentrated effort to return to my own truth and work in a way that is best for me. Because ultimately that benefits everyone.
Which brings me to this week’s featured printable - a gentle reminder for myself that it’s okay to slow down and rest. It’s okay to trust yourself. It’s okay to feel at peace in a world that is full of chaos. So, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by work or life, I hope this helps you as well.
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November Musings and The Perfect Cup of Tea
After a really mild October and early November, the air has finally turned properly cold here in Western Maine. While some folks don’t love the shorter days and approaching winter that November ushers in, personally I think it’s one of the most beautiful months to be in Maine. What November lacks in the Pinterest-Autumn-Aesthetic, it more than makes up for with gentle colors and muted sunlight that gives the most ordinary days a little bit of ethereal beauty.
If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you’ll know that I’ve been trying to install a new wood stove in my sitting room, which has turned into quite the saga. I’m happy to report that it’s finally in, just in time for the first predictions of snow next week. I’m looking forward to some cozy evenings watching the fire and enjoying some tea.
To celebrate the start of the cozy season, I thought it'd be fun to make a printable that embodies my deep and abiding love of being home. The Perfect Cup of Tea is more of a suggestion than a recipe. The most important element is making sure you have the space and time to enjoy it. I’ve shared this printable as a JPEG so it will be easier to resize, if you’d like to add it to any holiday gifts for the tea drinker in your life. I hope you like it!
Grab your free Perfect Cup of Tea print in the Mabon House Member’s Library. You can join for free HERE.
What do you love about November? Share in the comments or over at Instagram!
The Season of Mabon : Six Things I am Ready to Release
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Mabon marked the last turn in the Wheel of the Year. The days are growing shorter, as we head toward the winter months. Just as with the moon phases and the waning light of the full moon, the waning daylight of autumn is a good time to release that which isn’t serving you anymore. This could be habits, things, or even people. As we move more fully into Autumn and the leaves fall from the trees here in Western Maine, I am taking this time to actively work on releasing these six things:
Screen time. During the Pandemic I found myself watching A LOT of Youtube. I follow a variety of content creators from around the world and I found myself enchanted by the lives of various vloggers. And it became really easy to just spend more and more time watching other people’s lives and less time working on my own. So now, when I have some downtime on the weeknights and weekends, I am more conscious about screen time and I don’t just automatically turn to youtube or other streaming services out of habit. I may opt to listen to music or a book on Audible instead. Or if my eyes aren’t too tired from work (hello middle age) I’ll do a few sudoku puzzles. I find sudoku enormously comforting, as it reminds me of my late grandmother, who I adored. Do you have any screen-free activities you like to do?
Doomscrolling. Popularized during the pandemic, doomscrolling has become second nature during my work day. At the peak of my doomscrolling, I was checking various news sites at least 5-6 times a day, despite the fact that there is literally never any good news in the headlines. So rather than go looking for the latest political gossip or confirmation that the world is still on fire, I opt to look through Pinterest or read some of my favorite blogs instead. I keep a bookmark folder on my browser, to make it easy to look at these sites rather than the news, if I have a few minutes of downtime at work. I still check headlines once in the morning, but after that I let it go for the rest of the day.
Anti-Aging. A few weeks ago I wrote about moving from Mother to Crone. Part of that transition has been embracing growing and looking older. As women we are taught that aging is akin to letting yourself go. Society tells us that age spots and wrinkles are things to be feared, rather than celebrated. I’m over the barrage of messaging that tells me I need to maintain the same face and body I had 10-20 years ago. So, while I still wear makeup and color my hair (for now) I do these things because I enjoy doing them, not because I am trying to look younger. Basically my mantra these days is This is my face, deal with it.
Body Commenting. Growing up in the toxic diet culture of the 80s and 90s, it is second nature for me to pay compliments to someone who has lost weight. It comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. “Wow you look soooo good!” Ugh, Lorri, really? I am just now realizing, this can be a really harmful habit and, unless the person brings it up first, it is just better to not comment on someone’s body. Period. Instead of body size, I’d rather focus on all the wonderful qualities of my friends, family and colleagues.
Retail Therapy. Back in January I shared I was on a no spend challenge, which has more or less continued through this year. It’s not that I haven’t bought anything new, but rather, I have become much more aware of why I want to purchase certain items. Often it is out of stress or boredom, rather than need. Retail therapy has always been an easy way to get out of dealing with my emotions. Letting go of the capitalist hold on my behavior has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life, so far. Opting to wait and see, rather than impulse buy has saved me a ton of money and allowed me to have much more space, both literally and figuratively. I am no longer bringing items into my home pell-mell, which I have to then find room for, or take care of and/or eventually get rid of. As someone who is deliberately trying to simplify her life, buying nothing is the easiest thing of all.
Worry. I am a worrier by nature. And depending on what’s happening at the time, my worry can grow exponentially, until it is interfering in my day-to-day life. I know that it’s impossible to eradicate worry completely from my life. But being able to recognize normal worry, versus unhelpful catastrophizing (which I can do in a split second - mad skills) means that I can process my emotions and get on with my day, rather than sitting in my own head being miserable*. One tool I like to use to help me manage my worry and anxiety is my Let It Go List.
*Gentle reminder that I am not a licensed-clinical-anything. These are just my experiences. If you feel like anxiety is getting the best of you, please consult with your primary healthcare provider.
So that’s what I ‘m doing, or continuing to do, for this last turn in the Wheel of the Year. Are you letting anything go of anything during this season of Mabon? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below or connect with me over at Instagram.
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